Rejection - recent

Here's another I dug up..
~I wanted to be a disco dancer/ she was a leo i was a cancer/ i said ’hey baby what’s your sign?’/ she wouldn’t give me half the time~

Humiliation. Once again i’ve been rejected; left dejected holding the shattered pieces of my self worth with no one to blame but myself. My hope that maybe these words might mean something dealt the final blow. Nail in the coffin lid. Wondering why this burning in my stomach never gives. It’s my heartache, trickled down. The powder from the rubble in the aftermath of all those things that brought me trouble in the past.  I’ve had my belly-full of shun. The sum total of my expectations when you tell me the old ways are done, that things will change, and point out exactly where i should put my faith. How now, my love? When to forget is to be expected, and to forget is to be demanded, and to forget is to be forgiven, and to FORGET is to never be reprimanded. How now, my friend? When words take no meaning; forever overshadowed by that all-encompassing, hope-consuming, self-rightiously rectifying action. I am rejected. Pushed to the back of the mind like what you ate for lunch last thursday. "I forgot". I know you did. And there is no fault in forgetting; only fault in being forgotton. Unremarkable, immemorable, less than, nothing to be remembered. I am inconsiderable. Not worth the breath for the words you use to pacify betwixt forgetting and forgotton. Synapsis fading. I am fading. I don’t even exist. Trapped forever in the world of forget. And this snake in my belly writhes with discontent at my inability to take myself so easily to that cliff. Delve into disbelief. See, it’s my hope that keeps me tangled in this limbo. And i know exactly how this conversation goes. And i am sentenced for believing, unspoken but always the verdict. My punishment? Appeasement. tell me everything is perfect. Set me up again. Drop me down again. I am rejected. To not forget is sin. And I am wrong again.